Sext Ed: Sex in the Txt
Doin' It Well is a little behind the times with technology, we must admit. Recently, the topic of sexual text messaging, or sexting, came up, and while we were not shocked, we were surprised to find not only how common it was, but also, how national sources have been discussing the "legal" issues around teens having sext with each other. The quick, cryptic, and semi-private nature of text messaging allows for teasing, flirting, foreplay and more to occur, all on your cell phone! The bulk of the conversations about sexting have focused on the shock and "horror" that teens are talking about sex through their cell phones, the "dangers" that teens and parents need to be aware of and how parents can understand the language of sext. .
There are some important reasons for these discussions. But it's also important to note that lots of people use cell phones to be sexually intimate,,and teens talking to each other in code about the taboo topic of sex is definitely not new. The mode of communication has simply changed. So if you're well versed in sexting, or you're new to the game, we want to give you some tips for safe, hot sext.
LF
Sexting can be fun, if both people are into it. As with all sexual behaviors including flirting, make sure the person you are sending a message to wants to receive the message and is participating in-kind. Remember, what might be funny to you, might be offensive to someone else. Sexting is not about harassing someone or shocking them by sending them an offbeat message. If you send someone a sext and they don't respond, it may be helpful to check in with them later in person (or send a text) asking them if the sext message was OK. There are lots of txt abbreviations out there, and they might not have even been sure what you meant. Just like with email, sexting can be misinterpreted.
ITS
Because we are not communicating in person, it can feel much easier to write acronyms for things like "FMUTA" -something we might never say in person to the receiver. Sexting allows us to behave in ways that we might not ever have the courage to do in person, and it can open the door to some more graphic conversations about sex. On one hand, this means that we don't feel able to say these things to our partner's face. On the other hand, part of the sexy in sexting may be the taboo and surprise. It may be a good rule of thumb(s) to ask yourself if you would say what you're about to sext to the person to their face and what their reaction might be. If you would, and you suspect their response would be positive, type away!
Safer Sext
Sexting can be an excellent safer sex activity. No fluids are exchanged and there is no skin to skin contact! So, if you and your partner are looking for a fun way to reduce your risk for pregnancy and STDs, sext away! Sexting can also be fun for couples in long distance relationships, or as a way to add spice to your sex life, even if you live in the same town.
Remember that just like email, someone can forward a sext you write to someone else. Make sure you're having sext with someone you trust.
Sext Offenders?
National news sources have been discussing the recent issues with teens and sext messaging. The legal issue isn't the actual text messages, but distributing images. When teens share sexually explicit images of themselves or others, this is considered distribution of child pornography. So teens can unwittingly get themselves and even their parents into legal trouble. If you're into sexting or use your cell phone to communicate with your friends or partner about sex, be careful about sending pictures! Even if the receiver is into seeing them, you could still get into trouble. Plus, a pic sent to one person, could get sent to all your friends, so send wisely.
MOS/DOS (Mom/Dad Over Shoulder)
Parents, it may be helpful to talk to your teens about sexting, letting them know that while communicating with their friends and partners about sexuality is normal, healthy and a life skill they need to learn, it's also important they communicate with respect. While encouraging them to communicate in a healthy way about sexuality, it is also helpful to inform your teen about some of the potential consequences if they send sexual images to someone or are harassing them. If teens don't learn this from the adults in their lives, they will absorb the values of the larger culture...something we may not want. Although the world of sexting is coded and indirect in many ways, a face to face conversation with your teen can't ever replace the txt..
Stay tuned until next week as we talk about getting hot and heavy - inside an animal suit.
Sext 411: Sext Messages
8: oral sex
Banana: penis
FB: fuck buddy
FMLTWIA: fuck me like the whore I am
FMUTA: fuck me up the ass
GYPO: get your pants off
ILF/MD: I love female/male dominance
ITS: intense text sex
IWSN: I want sex now
J/O: jerking off
Kitty: vagina
LB?W/C: like bondage? Whips or chains
LF: let's fuck
MPFB: my personal fuck buddy
PRON: porn
Q2C: quick to cum
RUH: are you horny?
TTA: tap that ass
Send Kim & Ross your questions, comments, or suggestions - txt msg style - to buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com or comment online at http://www.doinitwell.blog.com/
