Sex Ed. for Kindergartners And other lies abstinence-only taught me
On September 9th it was reported on the CBS national news that the McCain camp had accused Barack Obama of supporting legislation in
Illinois that would provide “sex education to kindergartners.” Obama’s team fired back saying McCain’s accusation was “shameful and disgusting,” going on to say that the education he supports is designed to protect kids from sexual abuse.
What McCain’s people were referencing are remarks made by Senator Obama during an appearance before Planned Parenthood in 2004. Obama supported a bill that would have expanded “age appropriate” sex-education from grades 6-12 to kindergarten through 12th grade. The bill never became law.
As Crazy as it Sounds
“Sex education for kindergartners” is a phrase that we’ve heard on the news before. It’s used in an inflammatory way, without any explanation of what it actually means. Of course a phrase that includes sex and kindergartners in the same sentence is shocking and scary. Our reactions might be different if we heard “sexuality education for kindergartners” since sexuality is a science: it is the study and understanding of human anatomy and biology, how we as humans reproduce and interact socially, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Our fear of this science – let alone teaching it to kids - is somewhat understandable. When we hear the word “sex,” we may automatically think about what that word means for us as adults. We believe that sex=sexual behaviors because most of us did not receive sexuality education from the time we were little. We don’t know what it would look like for younger kids or what information it could include.
Also, when we think “sex education,” we might think about condoms, birth control, STDs or even this Doin’ It Well column. No one talked to us about other aspects of the science of sexuality, like the proper, scientific names for our bodies, how certain parts of our bodies are private, how babies are made, and how men produce sperm and women produce eggs after they reach puberty.
Just like math in kindergarten does not include calculus, sex education in kindergarten DOES NOT include discussions of sexual positions, condoms or other more complex topics. By suggesting this, it misleads us into opposing the information that kids need to live healthy lives.
Perverts and Pedophiles
Add into this mix the way our society addresses the issue of child sexual abuse. We may teach “stranger danger” to our kids, but we avoid discussing any of the specifics of sexual abuse, ignoring the vast majority of this abuse that is committed by known, trusted adults. Unfortunately, denying appropriate sex education to young people is part of the reason sexual abuse continues - children don’t have the language or opportunity to tell people about it. For many children, they are not believed when they do tell.
When we treat the subject of human sexuality as taboo, we also treat the abuse of sexuality as taboo as well. Perpetrators know this and use it against children. The lack of sex education for little ones leaves kids vulnerable to abuse - with no trusted adults who they feel comfortable talking to about it.
Teaching children about their bodies and the difference between good touch and bad touch helps prevent and stop sexual abuse.
So what would you teach?
Experts in the field of sexual science have developed curriculum that outline age appropriate topics, messages and information for very young children. For example, the Sex Information and Education Council of the US (SIECUS) recommends that children ages 5-8 are taught that children’s bodies change as they grow older, that people have the ability to have children only after they reach puberty, that each part of our bodies, including the genitals, has a specific name and a specific function and that all body parts and functions are normal and healthy.
In addition, the following facts and information can be part of sexuality education for children ages 5-8:
- Women and men have reproductive organs that enable them to have a child
- When a woman is pregnant, a fetus grows inside her body, in the uterus (not in the stomach)
- Not all people choose to have children and men and women who cannot have a baby can choose to adopt one
- Individual bodies are different sizes, shapes and colors; these differences make us unique
- Everyone should be proud of the body they have
- Making fun of people by calling them names, including names like “fag” or “homo” is disrespectful and hurts people’s feelings
- Some reproductive organs are on the outside of the body, like a penis or vulva and some are on the inside like the uterus.
- There are all types of families, some with one parent, some with two, some with a mommy & daddy, some with two daddies or two mommies or a grandparent, etc.
- Biological “sex” refers to if a person is male or female.
In addition to the above, very young children (Kindergartners) can be taught the difference between what secrets are OK to keep (like a surprise birthday party) and which secrets should be told (someone is hurting me). Children can be taught to respect the bodies of others, while celebrating their own body.
Teaching kids about healthy sexuality starting at a young age leads to sexually healthier adults and a healthier society.
Stay tuned next week as Kim & Ross explore the ethics of sexual attraction.
Sex 411 Resources for Sexuality Education for Young Children
Happy Birthday by Robie Harris
It’s Not the Stork by Robie Harris (ages 4 & up)
SIECUS guidelines for Comprehensive Sexuality Education for K-12:
http://www.siecus.org/_data/global/images/guidelines.pdf
Kim Rice and Ross Wantland can’t write it well without you! Send them your comments and questions to buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com
