Friday, July 25, 2008

Paging Dr. Ruth: Accessing Sex Therapy

Recently we have received a few specific questions from readers about sex therapy and counseling. Often questions like these cannot easily be addressed in a column. Instead, general counseling, or more specifically sex therapy, can prove most beneficial. So while we answered our readers through email with resources, it prompted us to think about how and where to access help when experiencing a sexual problem.

Kim and Ross:

I’ve enjoyed your columns. I’m 78 and while I’m still interested I haven’t had an erection in maybe a year and a half…A year or so ago my doctor changed one of my high blood pressure prescriptions but it didn’t do any good. I’m wondering whether a session with one of you might be helpful. You may know more than the doctor about the effect of medications… -anonyomous

While the Doin’ It Well column is a separate endeavor and not part of our official University jobs, Kim works at McKinley Health Center full time to address the sexual health of students. Kim can see University students who have concerns about sexual functioning or sexual health. Ross, on the other hand, specializes in sexual violence prevention and works full-time at the Office of Women’s Programs. In his role as a sexual violence prevention specialist, he does not provide individual advocacy or counseling, but Pat Morey, the Director of Women’s Programs offers this service to students, as does Rape Crisis Services in the community. Ross can meet individually with supporters of rape survivors and individuals (men and women) who have questions about how to address sexual violence in our community.  

Side Effects May Occur

In terms of navigating the sexual side effects of medications, usually a multi-disciplinary team is the best approach. A doctor may not know all of the sexual side effects, may not have the time to discuss them, or may be uncomfortable talking about sexual issues with their patients (especially if the patient has not raised these concerns). Sometimes switching medications can help, while at other times changing prescriptions is not possible, or has no effect.

Based on the information you have given us - age, medical factors and the nature of your problem - we suggest a sex therapist. An experienced sex therapist is specifically trained to consider all the factors that affect a sexual problems (age, medication, relationship, environment, etc.) and work with you to figure out how to have the best sex life possible. The goal is usually not focused solely on getting erections or having orgasms, but finding ways to experience the pleasure of sexual intimacy whether with a partner or solo. Sexual functioning can be complex, and it’s important to meet with someone who can explore these complexities with you.

Dear Sir/Madam: 

I read your article [about] low desire…my situation is that ever since me and my girlfriend had some issues about breaking up…I don’t seem to have sexual desires any more and also some times when we try to have sex…my mind drifts from…sex…what should I do?

Often when a sexual problem occurs, there are usually relationship factors at play. Sometimes when a sexual problem is based more specifically on relationship issues, general therapy can be extremely helpful. As we mentioned in our low desire column, libido can be a complex thing and many factors influence its course. Low desire can inform us about other things going on in our lives - including our relationships - and can provide excellent opportunity to sort these things out.  Usually this works best when a professional helps to guide us. University students can access counseling services at the Counseling Center on campus or through McKinley’s Mental Health department.

Finding the Right Match

While there are usually numerous therapists in any given area, a certified sex therapist may be difficult to locate or access. A great resource is the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), http://www.aasect.org/.  On their website is a directory of sexuality professionals to help folks locate someone in their area.  Kim is familiar with Tom Niebur, a certified sex therapist who works in Bloomington, and recommends him.

Or, you may find located in the yellow pages under “counseling” or “therapists” professionals that list they address sexual dysfunction or sexuality. While someone who is “certified” in this area may be well-trained, it does not mean that someone who is not a certified sex therapist is not an excellent resource! At the same time, certification may mean that someone has completed required education, training and supervision specific to the field of sexuality, but it does not ensure that they are a good therapist, or would necessarily be a good match for you. The goal is to find a therapist with whom you are comfortable and gives you a sense through your work together that your situation is improving.  Most good therapists will clearly state their limitations, and offer a referral if something is beyond their scope of practice.

Thanks to our readers for writing in such important questions. Stay tuned to next week as we browse one-handed reading, erotica.

Sex 411 Local Resources

Bloomington-Normal

  • Tom Niebur, Certified Sex Therapist 309-451-2910

Champaign-Urbana 

Got a question for Doin’ It Well? Send them an e-mail to Kim and Ross at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

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