It’s So Titillating! Exploring Nipple Play
Tit Bits
Most people have nipples. In fact, during pre-natal development, humans have multiple nipples! The others disappear most of the time, leaving us with just two. In addition, nipples develop before sex characteristics, a possible explanation as to why boys have nipples too, even though they do not seem to serve any purpose. However, nipples can and do serve a very important function for both men and women: sexual stimulation.
Nipples have nerves and blood vessels that make them sensitive and they become erect in both men and women when they are sexually excited (or stimulated), although the degree of erection varies from person to person. In addition, nipple and breast sensitivity varies between individuals. Some people find their nipples to be a highly erogenous part of their body, while others do not get much pleasure from nipple stimulation.
Nipple Play
As we mentioned, some people don’t like their nipples stimulated at all, some like gentle nipple attention while others may enjoy their nipple play to be a bit more rough or intense. So, just like other sexual activities, nipple play exploration requires communication and experimentation. Some people like their full breast cupped, squeezed or tugged during sex, leaving the nipple alone. Others may enjoy soft stimulation of the nipple using a finger, palm of the hand or mouth. Gently sucking the nipples is another variation, as is biting the nipple. Biting can also vary from soft nibbling to more intense “biting” or tugging of the nipple in between the teeth. We often consider nipple stimulation to be part of foreplay, but many people enjoy the sensations of nipple stimulation leading up to, right before, during or even after orgasm.
Buttery Nipples
Because the nipples are external, they are an excellent part of the body to stimulate with sauces, whipped cream, peanut butter or honey. In addition, drinking a hot drink and the placing the mouth on your partner’s nipple, or doing the same with ice can allow for different sensations for the receiver. Lubes that are flavored (like cinnamon) or edible lubes that also have a warming feature can also add variety to nipple play.
Women
Stimulating the nipples on a woman can be intensely pleasurable for both her and her partner. In addition to the pleasurable physical sensations the woman can experience, some women also enjoy seeing their partner’s excitement while playing with their nipples. Or, nipple play can be uncomfortable and a turn off, especially if she feels like a partner is more into her breasts than into her. Each woman should experiment with and decide for herself the kind of sensations she likes. Keep in mind that the sensitivity of the nipples (and breasts) changes throughout the menstrual cycle; one week nipple play may be highly arousing, while being uncomfortable or even painful at other times. Communicate with your partner these differences and the kind of nipple stimulation, if any, you want.
Men
Most of the time, especially in heterosexual sexuality, the focus seems to be on the female breast, including the nipples. But many men also enjoy nipple stimulation and sometimes they don’t even realize it can be pleasurable until they try it. Unfortunately, due to homophobia and gender role socialization, men are sometimes reluctant to ask for or experiment with nipple play.. This limits the sexual pleasure that men can enjoy! Of course some men like their nipples played with and some don’t. Experiment if you want, and decide for yourself.
Nipple Toys
There are toys designed specifically for nipple play. Most people have heard of nipple clamps, which are placed on the nipples and increase sensitivity by restricting the circulation of blood flow. Nipple clamps can be arousing both visually and physically. Once the clamps are removed, a painful sensation that some people enjoy takes place as the blood rushes back into the nipples. Nipple clamps can be tugged on or gently pulled, or weights can be added for those interested in a more intense experience. As an added bonus, nipple clamps can also be used on other parts of the body, like the vaginal lips or scrotum! In a pinch, a clothespin could be used.
Nipple suckers are plastic devices that are placed over the nipple and then squeezed. The result is a gentle “sucking” sensation. These can be used during partnered sex, but are also a great way for both women and men to enjoy the sucking sensation during solo sex if they cannot reach their nipples with their own mouth. There are even vibrating nipple “teasers” and clamps.
Ultimately, nipple and breast play is for each person our couple to figure out and is only one part of sexual intimacy and pleasure. Talk with your partner about how attention to breasts feels to you, and listen to what they say. Remember, it’s not about one specific body part; it’s all connected.
Stay tuned next week as Doin’ It Well explores the idea of “gray rape.”
Sex 411: Check out these great upcoming programs
It’s Not Extra Attention, It’s Stalking
4-14 La Casa Cultural Latina 6pm
4-21 Asian American Cultural Center 6pm
See the full calendar at www.odos.uiuc.edu/women
Kim Rice and Ross Wantland are professionals in the fields of sexuality and sexual violence prevention. Email them at buzzdoinitwell (at) yahoo (dot) com
