Getting People in the Mood: Drugs, Sex, & Sexual Assault
April marks Sexual Assault Awareness Month, so we decided to write about a topic that we are hearing more about around campus: drug facilitated sexual assault. Most people have probably heard about “date rape drugs”, but you may be shocked to learn how many college students know someone who believes they have been drugged (up to a 1/3 in some classes polled). Instead of the “cover your drink,” message, Doin’ It Well wanted to take a broader look at the attitudes in our community that may allow drug-facilitated sexual assault to occur, and how we each can stand up and do something.
Good to Go
When we talk with students about the “drunk hook-up” they bring up the complex issues about the “rewards” and “challenges” for combining alcohol with sexual activity. They talk about how alcohol can be used to target an individual and get them so drunk that they are basically incapacitated. Students are very aware that alcohol is the most commonly used “date rape drug.”
Unfortunately, many of us have heard comments like “a few more and she’ll be good to go” or “this should help speed things along.” What’s worse is that these comments are so ubiquitous, that sometimes they don’t even catch our attention. We often laugh them off as jokes, or just an expression. When we approve of someone using a certain drug (alcohol) to incapacitate an individual, we also allow individuals to target people with other drugs, perhaps even by slipping them a drug. We need to ask ourselves what subtle message is being sanctioned when someone uses these lines, even if they are joking, and then find ways to challenge it.
It Takes a Village to Stop a Rapist
Regardless of whether the drugs are being ingested willingly or involuntarily, drug-facilitated sexual violence is being perpetrated by members of our community against other members of our community. How do we stop this? We must all play a role. Tips like “watch your drink” may help reduce the risk, but will never eliminate sexual violence from our community.
Attitude Adjustment
If you are in a group and people are joking about slipping someone a drug, here are some comments to try:
- “I’d rather have a girl give me straight-up consent, and know she wants to be with me, wouldn’t you?”
- “There’s nothing to be proud of with that. What if someone was doing that to your sister?”
- ‘She’s a person and - even though you don’t know her - hooking up with her when she’s out of it, is fucked up.”
Standing up in a group of men may make them (or you) uncomfortable. Sometimes, it may feel better (and effective) to have a conversation with one person later, rather than confronting someone in a group.
Stepping in
If you see someone being targeted with alcohol or drugs, go tell them and/or their friends. “Hey, I just heard that group over there mentioning how your friend ‘looked ready to party’. You may want to keep an eye out.”
If you see someone in possession of a drug that could facilitate assault (GHB, Ketamine, Rohypnol, etc.) and it appears their intent is to use it on someone else, tell the bartender, party host or the police. This can sometimes be hard because we often don’t want to get someone in trouble and we may “hope” that they are just kidding. More than likely, they aren’t.
If he is your friend, think about how you might distract him for the time being. You know best whether to talk to him right then about his behavior, or wait until the next morning. You might just say, “Hey, I don’t want to see you get into trouble or hurt someone.” If we care about him (not to mention the individuals he may be targeting), it’s important that we say something to him to let him know that his behavior is not okay.
If you suspect someone has been drugged
If someone is far more intoxicated than they should be or they think they may have been drugged, get them to the emergency room right away (McKinley Health Center cannot test for “date rape drugs”). Emergency rooms can provide testing and other medical attention. You can also call the Rape Crisis hotline at 355-5203 to find out more options and get support.
Get Excited About Sexual Violence
Even when we write about this not-so-fun side of sexuality, people rarely come up to us excitedly and say “awesome column this week!” Perhaps it is shame around violence that some men are committing and some women and men are experiencing, perhaps it is embarrassment that we have actively participated in or allowed these behaviors. Sexual violence, as a social issue, affects our sisters, mothers, brothers, children, partners and friends - everyone in our society.
It’s up to all of us to fight back to eliminate it so that everyone can fully experience sexuality in a positive, affirming way that is fun and exciting, without shame. We would love to never have to talk or write about sexual violence again, but we need your help to end sexual violence to make that possible!
Stay tuned next week as we get to the point about nipples.
Sex 411
Who Wants to be a Porn Star?
April 10th 7pm 180 Bevier Hall
Presented by Kim Rice & Ross Wantland
*must be 18 yrs of age.
For the full Sexual Assault Awareness Month calendar, go to www.odos.uiuc.edu/women
Kim Rice and Ross Wantland are professionals in the fields of sexuality and sexual violence prevention. Write to them at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com
