Doin’ It Well

Lube is a great addition to sexual activity, yet not everyone considers using extra lubrication either when they are getting it on with themselves or with a partner. Some folks associate lubricant with anal sex. But there are a lot more uses for lubes than just anal penetration! Using extra lube can be a great way to experience new or different sensations during oral, vaginal, anal or solitary sex.  But there are a lot of lubes out there to choose from - and since asking the pharmacist at Walgreen’s for their recommendation may not be comfortable for all folks - Doin’ It Well is here to help you navigate the slippery waters of sexual lubricant.

Organic Lube

Saliva and vaginal secretions work well for lots of folks. Don’t be afraid to spit on your hands before rubbing your partner or yourself, or to spread your own natural lubricant to other parts of your own, or your partner’s body.

Water-Based

Water-based lubes have been the gold standard for many years. They wash up with water and are latex compatible. KY is the brand most folks recognize. KY and other companies have developed lubricants specifically for sex.

The down-side to water-based lubes is they can dry out. If this happens, add some saliva or water to get the slickness back. If that doesn’t work, then add more lube.

In addition, there is a difference between water-based and water-soluble. Water soluble products may still contain oils, which break down latex.

Silicone

The newest sex lubes on the market are water-based but contain silicone to prevent them from drying out. These longer-lasting lubes can be used vaginally or rectally and may be a good option if you are having sex in water or if you find that water-based lubes dry up too quickly. It’s not a good idea to use silicone lubes on silicone toys however, as the silicone in the lube gradually destroys the silicone in the toy.

Oils

Oil lubes are good for masturbation, when latex condoms, dental dams or gloves are not an issue (since oils destroy latex). Mineral, vegetable, olive and many other oils have been used for years by folks massaging their genitals. Lotions or creams however are designed to be absorbed into the skin and don’t have as much staying power as oil. Females should not insert oils or Vaseline into the vagina, as it may coat the walls and lead to bacterial or yeast infections. Keep oils on the outside.

Unless you’re in a monogamous, HIV-negative relationship, you should always use a condom. No oil lubes for anal, vaginal, or oral sex!

Warming lubes

These are the latest lubes to hit the market and are designed to add or increase sensation. Some folks find them numbing and uncomfortable. Others love the way they feel. Experiment for yourself! Remember that the warming feature will also be felt by your partner, so you may need to decide together if it’s a lube that works for you both.

Climax Control Lubes

These lubes usually don’t work to control ejaculation.  Despite their claims, these aren’t recommended for the treatment of premature ejaculation, where the goal is to increase sensory awareness not to decrease it through numbing of the penis. These lubes can also cause numbing in your partner which may decrease their sensation and pleasure, too!

Oral

There are lots of flavored lubes out there but some of them don’t taste so well. Ask a sex toy shop for their recommendations. Or, you may find that your own saliva or partner’s natural lubrication tastes best.

Vaginal

Water-based or silicone lubes both work well but the consistency will vary from product to product. Try different products to see which one you like best. Lubes that contain glycerin tend to be slicker but can sometimes lead to yeast infections if used inside the vagina.

Anal

The tent scene in Brokeback Mountain made it look easy; a little spit is all it takes. But when it comes to anal sex in the real world, using lube is a must. Those more experienced with anal penetration may be comfortable with thinner water based lubes, but most folks will find more pleasure and ease with something thicker like Elbow Grease Water-Based or silicone lubes like Eros Power Cream. Don’t be afraid to re-apply!

Lubes we absolutely DO NOT recommend are Anal-Eze or other lubes designed to numb the anus and rectum during anal sex. Feeling discomfort or pain during anal sex is an indication to slow down, add more lube or relax. Lubes that numb the butt interfere with this important part of anal sex and can increase the likelihood of tearing or injury to the rectum.

Shopping Around

Whereas water-based lubes are sold at most local pharmacies, mega-stores, and supermarkets, silicone lube, lotions, and oils may only be available at your local sex shop. Sex shops sell small “pillow” pouches of lube pretty cheaply so you can experiment with different types before investing in a whole bottle. When shopping for a good lube, read the package for its indications and how thick or long-lasting it will be. 

Finding the right lube will probably require some trial and error. Have fun exploring the different options that are out there!

Sex 411: Lube Tips

• Anal play requires lube, the thicker the better
• Lube containing glycerin may cause yeast infections if used in the vagina
• Don’t use silicone lube on silicone toys.
• Use water-based (not water-soluble) lube

Kim Rice and Ross Wantland are professionals in the fields of sexuality and violence prevention. E-mail questions or topics for their column to buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com