Doin' It Well

There are over 25 sexually transmitted diseases, but most of us can only name those that are the most well known. Even then, identifying specific information can be a challenge. In a presentation Jo gave recently, she asked the group to brainstorm everything they knew about various STDs, including Trichomonaisis. The group responded with “trich-a-what?” stating they knew little about it. It reminded her that at other talks, people have stated that they have never heard of this common STD. So this week, Doin’ It Well decided to increase familiarity with less commonly known STDs.

Are We Negative?

It’s always a tough balance in the world of sex education between providing needed information to help people make good decisions and avoiding scare tactics or focusing strictly on the negative consequences of sexual activity, the latter two of which are shown through scientific research to neither delay sex nor increase safety strategies.  A few weeks ago, Jo was asked to review an STD education document, and noticed that one of the first things to be mentioned for each STD was a statement like “may to lead to severe complications” (or some variation thereof), instead of - where applicable - “curable” or “preventable”!

While information about the real consequences of STDs - especially when left untreated - are necessary, it’s also a much less empowering stance to focus on the awful, scary, really bad things that might happen to a person when they become sexually active, if they get an STD, and if it goes undetected and untreated. It’s with this in mind that we present the following information. The good news is that all but one of the following STDs are either curable or preventable with vaccines!

Trichomonaisis (alias: trichomonas, trich)

Trich is a parasite, and the most common curable STD among young women. Trichomoniasis is interesting to observe under a microscope because of its flagella. Men often have no symptoms, or experience symptoms that go away, but the infection can still be passed to partners.

Scabies

Scabies is also a parasite and therefore completely curable. Dissimilar to pubic lice, scabies is a mite that burrows under the skin, creating wavy silver or brown lines. It’s transmitted from one person to the next through close, intimate, although not necessarily sexual, prolonged contact.  For example, risk for scabies increases when you spend the night with someone (versus when you “hook up” ). It can also be transmitted among those in the same bed or household.

Chancroid

Bacterial infection that is completely curable and most often developing and third world countries and those diagnosed in the US have often contracted it while travelling. Chancroid infection causes a chancre or ulcerative lesion(s) to appear usually on or around the genitals. Unlike a syphilis chancre, those found with Chancroid infection are painful.

Molluscum Contagium

Small lesions or bumps caused by the Molloscum Contagiousum Virus (MCV). MCV is transmitted by skin to skin contact, and for adults, sexual transmission is the most common. Sometimes the bumps will self-resolve or are removed by a healthcare provider. Once the bumps are gone, transmission decreases, although may not be eliminated. Scratching the bumps or lesions can spread it to other parts of the body.

NGU

Non-gonococcal urethritis is an infection of the urethra caused by something other than gonorrhea, including other STDs (Chlamydia for example) and more often found in men than women, probably due to anatomical differences.

PID, Vaginitis, Cervitits, Urethitis, & Prostitis

Are sometimes categorized as STDs, but rather than being transmitted themselves are infections of certain parts of the body (reproductive organs). Infections of the cervix, vagina, urethra and prostate causing inflammation, irritation or other medical problems are often, but not always, caused by STD infections. A man cannot “get” vaginitis transmitted to him, or be diagnosed with it unless he has a vagina. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) which occurs in women and is the most common cause of infertility in women is often caused by  STDs, such as Chlamydia and gonorrhea.

Hep A, B

Hepatitis is inflammation of the liver caused by a number of different viruses (Hep A, B, C, D, or E). Hep A and B are the most common types transmitted sexually; type A can be transmitted through feces (oral-anal stimulation) and type B through bodily fluids like semen and blood. The good news is two-fold: most people under 30 have been vaccinated against Hep B (if not, you can be) and a vaccination also exists to prevent Hep A!  If you engage in oral-anal stimulation often, you may want to consider a Hep A vaccination.

In 2007, IL ranked in the top 10 of states with the highest Chlamydia & gonorrhea rates. By using condoms every time, with every partner, you can significantly reduce your risk for all STDs. If you’re sexually active, get tested - even if you don’t have symptoms. By visiting your medical provider, you can get the care you deserve to help you keep doin’ it well.

Check us out next week as we talk about sex on the road.

Sex 411: STD Hotline (919) 361-8488

Sponsored by the American Social Health Association

Eastern Standard Time M-F 9am-8pm

www.ashastd.org

Have a burning question? Send it to Jo and Ross at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

There has been big news over the past few weeks about the issue of same-sex marriage. Iowa’s Supreme Court recently ruled it unconstitutional to discriminate against same-sex marriages by not providing  them legal status. With “Proposition 8,” California’s voters unfortunately overturned a California Supreme Court ruling that said the same. And most recently, New Hampshire passed a bill making them the sixth state to allow same-sex marriages. What, you may ask, does this have to do with doing “it” well? Marriage and sexuality have always had a complicated relationship

Wedding Bells

Marriage means a lot of things. It’s a public recognition of a kinship between an individual and their spouse. It’s a cultural institution, bound up in ideas of love and commitment. It’s also a civil recognition that provides many reciprocal obligations, rights, and protections; in 2004, the General Accounting Office reported that there were some 1,138 legal benefits that legally (read: heterosexual) married individuals receive. For example, marriage allows two individuals to file their taxes jointly.

Marriage or committed partnerships are not a necessity for positive, healthy sexuality. However, forming and maintaining relationships (romantic and non-romantic) is a major part of healthy adult development. The Sexuality Information and Education Council  of the United States (SIECUS) states that a sexually healthy adult will “express love and intimacy in appropriate ways, develop and maintain meaningful relationships, avoid exploitative or manipulative relationships, make informed choices about family options and lifestyles, and develop skills that enhance personal relationships.” Marriage is not the prescription for being a sexually healthy adult, but how does the legal and social barriers that same-sex couples face impact sexual health?

1 Man + 1 Woman = 4 Ever?

One of the current arguments about same-sex marriages is that God or another authority figure made marriage for one man and one woman and this equals happiness for the wedded couple. These ideas - like the classic “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” - suggest that a relationship between individuals of the same gender is somehow less valuable or valid than heterosexual relationships. Religion isn’t the only arena where we see this happen; in fact, LGBT individuals face this discrimination in the workplace, school, social organizations, and even from their families. This doesn’t mean that someone who is LGBT is doomed to a loveless life, though it does place a host of barriers that most straight individuals never have to face when they are developing their romantic relationships.

When marriage laws state that only one man and one woman can be married – or that same-sex civil unions or marriages from one state won’t be recognized by the federal government or other states – what LGBT individuals miss out on is the approval and recognition of their own community, city, state, and country for their relationship. This is why the few municipalities and states that have passed same-sex marriage laws have been met with such celebration by some LGBT folks; their “kinships” are finally recognized. Same-sex marriage laws aren’t out to undermine whatever religious beliefs someone may hold; they are there to provide equal protection and recognition for a man and a man or a woman and a woman as a man and a woman.

Keeping up with the Straights

Same-sex marriage has become a big focus of some of the major LGBT-rights organizations (like Human Rights Campaign) across the United States. Understandably, there is some criticism that marriage is not the end-all issue affecting LGBT folks in the US. Workplace protections, adoption, domestic partner benefits, violence, and police harassment are just a few of the many other arenas where LGBT folks face discrimination. Some argue that fighting for the right to get married is a way to mainstream people who are LGBT , to make them “straighter,” and it takes away from the real issues.

We don’t disagree that there are a host of inequalities that LGBT people face interpersonally and institutionally. And marriage is one of these inequalities that intersect many of the others. Federal recognition of a marriage means Social Security benefits, the ability to visit an ailing spouse in the hospital, and a host of other things that straight folks take for granted. Institutionally, there may be 1,138 instances of discrimination that same-sex couples may face, but personally, these increase the work that is already necessary for a healthy romantic relationship.

Is marriage necessary? Absolutely not. Partnering – heterosexual or same-sex – is not a necessary component of being a “healthy” individual. In addition, wedding ceremonies can happen outside of a legal context, and this is the way many same-sex (and some straight) couples have celebrated their love and publicly recognized their new family. Perhaps ultimately, it is the love and commitment in front of the couple’s community that is the most important component. But as citizens of our country, we all deserve the opportunity to have our relationships recognized institutionally

Stay tuned until next week, and keep Doin’ It Well.

Sex 411: More Information on Same-Sex Marriage

• ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Project www.aclu.org/lgbt
• Human Rights Campaign www.hrc.org
• Lambda Legal www.lambdalegal.org                                              

Send Jo and Ross your questions to buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

Fellatio (from the Latin word “suck”) may be something you are curious about, so this week Doin’ It Well decided to offer some advice, since increased knowledge not only decreases anxiety, but helps us make good decisions about sexual behaviors.

BJ Basics

There is no one right way to perform oral sex on a man, but some general guidelines may be helpful to those who may be trying it for the first time. To start, simply hold the penis and put it in your mouth. Saliva acts as a lubricant, so summon up some spit beforehand. It’s also a good idea to cover your teeth with your lips, so you don’t hurt your partner. From there, simply use your mouth and tongue with an in-and-out motion to stimulate your partner’s penis.

If you wrap one hand around the base of the penis, you can both add manual stimulation and control how far the penis goes into your mouth, preventing gagging. Despite what much of mainstream porn shows us, you don’t have to gag or be uncomfortable during oral sex, and your partner shouldn’t want you to. In addition, oral sex doesn't have to be the crude sex act it often gets portrayed as and, in fact, can be very loving. 

If you choose to perform oral sex on a man, do so in a way that feels good and sexy to you, not simply for his pleasure.  Focusing on your pleasure will help you decide if it’s something you truly like and allow you to relax and enjoy the experience. Your partner can stimulate you while you perform oral sex, or you can stimulate yourself with your hands or a vibrator.  Ask your partner what he likes, but be sure to pay attention to what you enjoy about giving oral sex, too.

Hard to Swallow

Questions about semen and whether or not to swallow it are common. On average, a man ejaculates about a teaspoon of semen, though the amount of ejaculate varies with things like age and the length of time since his last ejaculation. Assuming it’s free of STDs, semen won’t hurt you. It has fewer germs than saliva and is not a significant source of either calories or nutrition. You cannot get pregnant from swallowing semen. Ejaculate has a salty, chlorine flavor (though it may taste differently from guy to guy or from day to day for the same guy), which some people enjoy, don’t mind, or simply do not like!

Deciding to swallow is a personal decision; only do  so if you want to, not because you think that's the best way to give a blow job.  Most men enjoy receiving oral sex, regardless of what happens during orgasm. Ask him beforehand to let you know when he’s going to ejaculate, so you can decide what you’d like to do. If you do not want semen in your mouth, simply remove the penis and continue stroking it manually until he ejaculates.

Some men do not ejaculate during oral sex due to the kind of stimulation. Don’t take it personally; move on to other behaviors that bring you both pleasure.

Being Receptive

If you want to put your hand on your partner's head while receiving, ask if it's ok. Because of the often violent images we see of oral sex, guiding your partner’s head or thrusting into their mouth can feel derogatory or bad, even if that’s not the intent. Be respectful; never force the penis in the mouth - let the giver decide how far and how fast. Feel free to moan when things feel good. It's always polite to give a heads up before orgasm, allowing your partner to decide if they want to stop before the point of ejaculation.

Heads Up

In general, fellatio is a lower risk sexual activity compared to penetrative vaginal or anal sex. But, risk for STDs does exist.

For safer oral sex, learn to put a condom on with your mouth. You can practice this by putting a flavored or un-lubed (a lubed condom won’t hurt you, it just might taste bad),condom in your mouth.  Gently use your teeth and lips to determine which way it unrolls (sucking in gently will draw out the reservoir tip), and place the condom onto two fingers, unrolling it with your mouth/lips/tongue.

This handy skill will protect your mouth and throat from STDs and avoids the swallowing question altogether!  If you don't use condoms during oral sex, another risk reduction technique is for the receiver to "pull out" or withdraw before ejaculation, which decreases fluid exchange.

Consider all the information and then decide for yourself and your relationship what behaviors you are comfortable engaging in.  

Check us out next week when we explore why marriage is so gay.

Sex 411: For More on Technique

Blue, V. The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio

Joannides, P. The Guide to Getting It On (A whole chapter on the ups & downs of fellatio)

http://sexuality.about.com/od/oralsex/ht/fellatio.htm

Send Jo and Ross your questions and comments to buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

Every so often, we see an article in Men’s Fitness or Cosmopolitan suggesting ways we need to get fit if we want to have good sex. Being healthy for ourselves is great, but these sources often introduce some unrealistic ideas about how fit we should be if we want to attract a partner and perform in bed. Doin’ It Well thought we’d find out how important physical fitness is for getting hot & sweaty.

A Real Workout

Although the sex most people are having is probably not the wild, body-bending activity we see in the movies, there are still a lot of ways that “real people” sex requires stamina and strength. There’s no doubt that sex works many different muscles in our bodies. In addition to those used during different sexual positions, there are also muscles engaged during sexual arousal and orgasm. Active sex can burn anywhere from 4-6 calories per minute, about the same as swimming!

Holding one position for an extended period of time, thrusting hips,  or even holding up your own or a partner’s body weight works the arms, back, shoulders, abs, not to mention the muscles we don’t even think about- like the PC (pubococcygeal) muscles in both men and women, which also gets  a workout. Normally, we may be most aware of our PC muscles when they stop the flow of urine. But these pelvic muscles contract the vagina for women, assist men in controlling ejaculation, and are intricately involved in intensifying pleasure and orgasm for both women and men.

To build PC muscle strength Kegel exercises (squeezing the PC muscles).which can easily be done during your regular day can help. At breakfast, in work meetings, or riding the bus, you can be engaging your PC muscles. To find the PC muscles, pay attention the next time you go pee, and stop the flow of urine midstream. Those are your PC muscles at work! Start out with 10 or 20 squeezes holding for 2-3 seconds each, and work up from there. Just like any muscle, go slow because it can get fatigued! You may alter between fast, quick reps or holding each rep harder and for a longer period of time. Notice the sexual sensations you feel in the pelvic area while doing Kegels!  The exercises can also be done during sex to add sensation, or to help quicken or delay orgasm for both women and men.

Make Your Heart Race

Just as sex may be exercise, non-sexual aerobic exercise can influence your sex life. A recent study found that men who exercised three times a week had increased sexual satisfaction and improved sexual performance. Cardiovascular activity (activity that raises your heart rate – ideally for at least 30 minutes at a time), like walking, running, or biking, can keep us from becoming too breathless when we’re getting hot and heavy. Also, simple exercises like push-ups and sit-ups might work some of the same muscles that get a work out during sex. In addition, yoga, dance, and other activities can help keep your body limber.

Hang Loose

While many people might joke about being sore after sex from different positions that might not be experienced very often, the idea of stretching or “warming up” before sex may seem comical or unrealistic. For the hardcore sexercise enthusiasts who do this (along with taking frequent water breaks and managing electrolytes), we commend you!

For others, it may be helpful to consider which sexual positions you might want to engage in and use a week or so ahead of time to get into that position a few times by yourself and hold it, to both gently stretch and build the muscles that will be involved.  For example, if you are interested in engaging in a standing version of rear entry (doggie style), you might add a downward dog yoga pose (or something similar) into your workout routine!

Feel the Burn?

With the ways “hot” sex gets shown in the media, discussions about “sexercise” may reinforce ideas that our bodies aren’t strong, fit, or attractive for an active, vibrant sex life. Although sex – solo or partner - may be exercise, that doesn’t mean we should have to worry about getting a workout in bed or carbo-loading before a big sex romp.

Check us out next week as we get heady about fellatio.

Sex 411: Shaping Up

Instead of turning to your partner and asking to do a few more reps, pay attention to your body during and after sex. Figuring out what muscles you’re working might help you think about if you’d like to strengthen or stretch them. Remember, sex should be about satisfaction – not about an unrealistic expectation for physique or performance, but don’t be afraid to get hot and sweaty!

Jo and Ross want to pump you up - by responding to your questions. Send them to buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

Dear Doin’ It Well,

Could you do an article on what different types of female orgasms feel like? I am pretty sure I have them often, but they don't feel like they do when I masturbate. There's no definite ending feeling like during masturbation, and it's not the screaming movie climax either. They feel pretty good, but I'm worried I'm missing out on something.

Come As You Are

This is an excellent question, thanks for writing in! We want to stress that you are experiencing orgasms, in their varied forms; trust that the pleasure you are experiencing is exactly as it should be!  Often people have a lot of high expectations about sex because of what gets promised to us, usually by the media or porn (screaming movie climax). In addition, many people have insecurities, too, and wonder not only if they are “doin’ it well” (or right), but if there’s something more to sexual expression and behavior that they should be doing.  We take the simple approach: “If it feels good, you’re satisfied, and it’s mutual, go with it and enjoy it!”

At the same time, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to understand sexual response and, possibly, explore ways to increase pleasure. Experimenting with various things that feel good is a wonderful way to grow sexually - both with yourself and with a partner.

Sexual Response

Here’s a quick review: the sexual response cycle starts with desire (or motivation to be sexual), and then cycles through stages of arousal/ excitement, plateau (steady level of arousal), orgasm and resolution (decline of arousal). Men experience a refractory period following orgasm during which physiologically they cannot achieve another erection. The time of the refractory period for men can last anywhere from a few seconds to a few hours or longer, and increases with age.

Orgasm

Orgasm is the release of sexual tension, usually accompanied by pleasurable feelings. At the “peak” of sexual excitement, the release of this tension can be very quick, with a definite ending as you describe, or can be slower.

Orgasms are fascinating!  According to sex researchers Ladas, Whipple and Perry, “The sensory quality of orgasms differs in relations to the part of the sexual system that is being stimulated.  Vaginal stimulation-induced orgasm is described as involving the whole body, whereas clitoris-induced orgasm is more restricted to the region of the clitoris.”

In addition to the vagina and clitoris, people can experience orgasms from stimulating other parts of the body, too. In women, the cervix, rectum, nipples, neck, and other areas can provide pleasurable sensations and sexual climax. The same is true from men, replacing the cervix with the prostate. All these orgasms feel differently and take on various characteristics, probably due to the different nerve pathways that receive the sensory activity or “input.”  For example (and we’re not medical professionals), sensation from the clitoris might get conveyed to a different nerve pathway than sensations from the cervix or uterus.

Enjoy them all

Perhaps during masturbation, there is a more direct focus on clitoral stimulation, which (due to the sensory pathways) creates a more direct and distinct orgasm.  During partner sex, the vagina may be stimulated more, thus creating a different orgasmic experience.  There is also the concept of a “blended” orgasm, in which many areas (clitoris, vagina, breasts, etc.) are stimulated simultaneously, creating a more “encompassing” or “holistic” orgasm.

Also, there are different dynamics that come into play when we are sexual with a partner, versus by ourselves. The subjective experience of pleasure and orgasm is influenced not only by the kind of touch or stimulation we receive but all our other senses, too. So different sounds, smells, and sights play into orgasm. Our emotions and our sense of intimacy or connection with a partner can also have an influence on our sexual experiences. Self pleasuring to orgasm may allow for a more direct route to orgasm with the focus primarily on the genitals, while partnered sex may be more fluid or circuitous, allowing for a “total body orgasm.”

While this information is really interesting and it is good to understand sexual response, remember that there is no one right way to experience orgasm.  You may try different kinds of stimulation during masturbation to “draw out” your orgasms, or change the stimulation during partnered sex so that it is more direct and definite, depending on the orgasmic experience you would like to have. Keep in mind that even with our best efforts to try and experience one kind of orgasm or another, it is not always possible. But, you may be pleasantly surprised! Focusing on pleasure, fun, and the open expression and celebration of your sexuality is part of what makes sex so wonderful!

Stay tuned till next week as we get hot and sweaty with sexercise…

Sex 411: Reading for Pleasure

Beyer-Flores, Komisaruk, Whipple (2006) The Science of Orgasm. The John Hopkins University Press

E-mail your questions and thoughts to Jo and Ross at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com.

Sometimes, sex gets talked about like everybody is doing it. Because of the ways sex is shown in the media and discussed among friends, there may be an idea about the amount and type of sex that people around us are having. Doin’ It Well wanted to explore for a moment if people are really having the kind of sex we assume.

Doing It

Most college students are having sex, but probably not to the extreme that one might think. In the National College Health Assessment study, they reported that in the past 30 days, approximately 40% of college students had engaged in oral sex or vaginal sex, and less than 5% had engaged in anal sex. About one third of the college students had never engaged in oral or anal sex, and the remainder (25%) did not have sex in the past month.

This means a significant percentage of college students are not having sex, not in the past month, and perhaps not at all.

Being “Active”

In the movie, Juno, the main character says, “I hate it when adults use the term "sexually active." What does it even mean? Am I gonna like deactivate some day or is it a permanent state of being?” Juno raises a really important question, if you’ve been sexual with another person at one point in time, does that mean you’re forever labeled sexually active?

As a term, sexually active has its limits. Although it is usually used to mark those who are currently having sex (whatever that means) from those who are not, this term may not clarify about how and how often “sexually active” individuals are doing it. For instance, does this include anal and oral sex? (Sometimes)  And is it a “permanent state” like Juno asks?

This is why some researchers ask about sexual activity over a certain period of time. For instance, the National College Health Assessment asks about sexual activity over the last 12 months and 30 days. In this study, about 34% of students reported zero sexual partners in the past 12 months. For those who had one or more sexual partners, two sexual partners in the past year was the average.

Jump to Conclusions

Another study on college campuses looked at the reported sexual behaviors, and compared it with the estimated sexual behaviors of their peers. Not surprisingly, the study found that college students overestimated the number of sexual partners and level of sexual activity of their fellow college students. The conclusion was that when we think that our peers are having more sex than we are, we may feel more pressure to have sex.

Because of the assumption that sex (i.e., penetrative, usually penis-vagina) is the norm for college students, those who are not having sex may feel abnormal or strange. But this doesn’t mean that those students who reported never having sex were not engaging in other sexual activities, like kissing or masturbation. Being sexually “active” – alone or with a partner – can mean almost anything we can imagine. And because we are sexual beings, even abstaining from sexual activity is a sexual decision.

Weirdo Virgins

People who have not had sex get labeled abnormal by their peers. Just think about movies like 40 Year-Old Virgin and we see the ways our society may see people who have not had sex yet.  Similarly, we are fascinated by people who have “too much” sex. But this is a limited way of viewing sex. If we see sexuality as something that develops over our lifetime, it doesn’t really matter when it happens; everyone will have their own journey.  

We need to make room for all sexual expressions and to support this spectrum among our friends and peers. Rather than placing the focus on having (penetrative) sex, think about all the ways we can express our sexual attraction, (like kissing) or reasons we may choose not to.  Both of us have talked to college students who haven’t felt like they could be honest with their friends about the sex they weren’t having (often by choice), because, especially among men, they didn’t feel supported in those decisions. Women too get judged for not being sexual enough by their female peers, but often face additional judgment when they cross the subjective line of “too sexual.”

Because our peers shape the ways we view the sex that’s “okay”, we have to make a safe place for our friends to talk about their sexual behaviors, without assuming that they are or aren’t having sex. This also requires us to hold off on pressuring others to engage or not engage in behaviors we think they should.  This includes the ways we call people’s femininity, masculinity and desirability into question if they are acting in ways other than we think they should.

And for ourselves, the decision to have sex is a complex one, but it’s one we should make on our own, not just because other people may be doing it.

It’s no secret that sex education is lacking in our public schools. It’s also no secret that many teens are making sexual decisions without accurate information, preparation, and support from either peers or adults in their lives. But one of the best kept secrets is that there are teens that are doing something about this! This week, Doin’ it Well wanted to squash the often-heard teen-bashing talk, and focus on the fabulous adolescents who are making a huge difference in the lives of their peers (and our community!)

Teach Me

From birth through death, we are constantly navigating a range of sexuality and sexual health milestones, not simply about the act of sexual intercourse, but also about how we feel about ourselves sexually and develop our sexual identity. Because of puberty, teens are in a very intense period of sexual development, physically, emotionally, and socially. Parents and teachers have a big opportunity (and responsibility) to help these adolescents develop into sexually healthy adults. Yet often, teachers and parents don’t have the preparation to do this.

In Illinois, a poll of health teachers showed that only 40% of high school health teachers taught about issues of contraception, abortion, or sexual orientation. Over a third of the teachers taught that abstinence was the only way to prevent pregnancy and STD’s. Many local teens have similar stories about their experiences of sex education. Depending on the school, or their teacher, they might not be taught about birth control or contraception. They might not receive information about their body’s sexual response. But moreover, they often don’t feel as though they’re getting accurate or complete sexual health education. This isn’t necessarily the fault of the parents and teachers; most adults aren’t prepared to have these complex (and maybe uncomfortable) conversations.

Additionally, teens may not want to have these conversations with these adults, no matter how well-meaning. So where’s a teen to go for quality sex ed?

 Ask a Peer

In the Champaign community, there is  a group of high school students who are making a difference: the Teen Awareness Group (TAG) at Planed Parenthood. TAG educators are paid employees of Planned Parenthood, and they receive comprehensive sexuality education, in addition to valuable life skills like parent-child communication, writing skills, crisis intervention strategies, public speaking and leadership skills and confidentiality training. As peer educators, TAG members utilize their knowledge to help educate their friends, classmates, and even teachers and parents.

Think about it: you are a teen and you have a question about sex – maybe you’re afraid you are pregnant, maybe you aren’t sure how to use a condom, maybe you’re not ready to be sexually active and want support in that, or maybe you’re afraid your relationship is unhealthy – but you may not  have an adult you trust to have accurate, non-judgmental information. TAG members receive all of these questions and more, and their training and supervision allows them to provide the most correct and beneficial information possible.  

In addition to one-on-one interactions, TAG educators go to local schools and organizations to provide workshops on contraception, abstinence, STD’s, and communication. For many of our local schools, a TAG workshop provides more information than they receive directly from their teachers. And for the health teachers, TAG becomes a convenient way to provide teens with accurate information

Moreover, the TAG educators take their work into many different arenas, challenging myths about sexuality in their classes, creating class projects promoting sex education, and getting involved with local organizations, such as the Campaign for Comprehensive Sexuality Education and the Greater Community AIDS Project, to improve the level sex education in their community. This year alone they reached over 5000 individuals in Champaign County. As a multi-level program, the TAG members receive the education first-hand, but they use this education and position to redefine how their community views sexuality.

“TAG is not only about teens taking control of their own sexuality education, but about their concern for the health and well-being of their peers and their generation,” says Lena Hann, Education Programs Coordinator at Planned Parenthood and coordinator of the local TAG program. “Ask a teen what they think adults think of their generation, and you'll hear some pretty upsetting stuff. These teens want to make a difference in their own lives and the lives of others. I am so lucky to get to work with such a fabulous group of people!”

We’re all lucky to have them in our community. See Sex 411 to find out about how you can get involved.

Check us out next week as we discuss if everyone is really doing it!

Sex 411: TAG Applications

Interested in applying to be a Peer Educator with the Teen Awareness Group?

• For the job description or to apply online, go to plannedparenthoodext.hire.com
• Under “Education” category, find “Educator – Teen Awareness Champaign, IL”
• Or in Facebook, search “TAG Applications” under Events.
• For more information, contact Lena at lenah@ppil.org or 359-4768 ext. 114.

As long as women have been bought and sold for sex, they have experienced sexual and domestic violence at the hands of men. Although we may brush away this violence as normal or biological, there is a long history of women rallying against this violence. Many communities and college campuses across the United States participate in Take Back the Night (TBTN), a march and protest of violence against women.

Some believe Take Back the Night dates back to 1877 when women in London took to the streets to protest the violence and fear the experienced at night. The first known TBTN in the US took place in 1978 in San Francisco’s Red Light District, organized by Women Against Violence in Pornography and Media.  Currently, Take Back the Night or similar protests are held throughout the world as a way for communities to denounce all violence against others, although most marches still retain a strong anti-sexual violence focus. Locally, this year marks the 30^th anniversary of Champaign-Urbana taking back the night!

Taking it Back

As feminist author Andrea Dworkin has said, “Women are often told to be extra careful and take precautions when going out at night. In some parts of the world, even today, women are not allowed out at night. So when women struggle for freedom, we must start at the beginning by fighting for freedom of movement, which we have not had and do not now have. We must recognize that freedom of movement is a precondition for anything else. It comes before freedom of speech in importance because without it freedom of speech cannot in fact exist.” The night is both symbolically and physically a barrier to women’s movement – something most women are well aware as they plan their routes home from nighttime jobs, tests, or parties.

The founders of Take Back the Night created these rallies and marches to find and share their voice, to be heard when violence against them is mostly silenced and ignored, and to walk in solidarity, strength and reclaim the night as a theirs- safe from violence against them- even if only for one night. Historically, these marches were women-only, signifying women’s strength and ability to protect themselves and to reclaim their own night.

Why the Violence?

As Suzanne Pharr posits, violence against women is one of the arms of sexism, along with economic oppression and homophobia. Systemically, violence against women (and other kinds of violence targeting marginalized groups, such as LGBT folks, folks with disabilities, poor communities, and folks of color) is an effective way to keep certain elements of institutional power in place, unquestioned.

Upon women, the social impact of this violence and the threat of that violence, limits women's social mobility (don't go out at night, don't go out alone) which impacts jobs women may feel able to take, schooling (night classes or exams), and ultimately the economics of women's lives. More than that, significant time is spent on wondering about physical safety; time that, as Ross points out, men don't have to spend or consider. Men (especially white middle class straight men) are allowed to move around in the world without these concerns, mainly because of luck (of being born white, straight, etc.).

Men Preventing Men’s Violence

In this year’s Take Back the Night, men are invited to march alongside women as allies and supporters. More and more men are taking an active role to eliminate men’s violence against women. As anti-sexist activist Jackson Katz puts it, “Men should be pretty upset that some men are acting this way, it’s an insult to our gender, and we need to call these guys out.” In addition, men are realizing how violence against women, traditionally thought of as a “woman’s issue” affects them-the women in their lives that they care about. If we’re going to end violence against women, it’s going to take men and women working together.

What We Can Do

JO: Violence against women is not inevitable; we have and continue to change aspects of the violent culture in which we live. An important part of Take Back the Night is standing up and naming not just the overt acts of physical violence which can be themselves difficult to name, but also the seeds of that violence (i.e., attitudes, name calling, harassing, lying, consumption of objectified media images) - and do it as women, proud and loud.

Here’s a quote from takebackthenight.org that we think sums up TBTN:

“Welcome to Take Back the Night- A place free from sexual assault and abuse. We invite you to become part of the solution, part of the end to sexual violence.  Here is a place to take a stand, a place to break the silence. Here we can Take Back the Night!”

We couldn’t say it better ourselves.

Join us next week as we discuss teens taking charge of their sexual health.

This week, Doin’ It Well decided to take another look at an issue that intersects across all of these campaigns - HIV. The world, our country, and our own C-U community have struggled to combat HIV for close to 30 years.  While in the United States we have slowed the spread of HIV, 56,000 new cases are still diagnosed in the US each year. That number is still way too high. In our own backyard, people are being diagnosed and living with HIV/AIDS, both on campus and within Champaign-Urbana.

Preventing the spread of STDs, including HIV, isn’t as easy as it might seem, and we continue to struggle with how to keep people safe and healthy. Often, simplistic approaches are suggested; we expect to take a complex issue of sexuality and minimize it into a single message. Then we expect that message to work for every single person, in every single situation.

Fun, hot, healthy sex

We know we can’t prevent HIV with one column, but here are some risk reduction tips. By having a variety of options to reduce one’s risk, the hope is that folks can find a combination of things that work best for them in their specific situation.

• Use condoms every time, with every partner
• Remember that getting HIV is not inevitable; it can be easily prevented!
• Choose not to have sex, or to postpone sex
• Get tested and talk to your partner(s) about being tested, too
• Engage in behaviors that avoid fluid exchange (semen, blood, vaginal secretions, breast milk); HIV is only transmitted by these fluids.
• Avoid higher risk behaviors (receptive anal or vaginal sex, using someone else’s needles)
• If possible, keep sex sober to increase condom use & other safety strategies
• Limit your number of sexual partners
• Choose a monogamous relationship
• If you have HIV or another STD, inform your partners and discuss ways to be sexual while keeping your partner safe from infection

Unfortunately, HIV continues to be diagnosed, so  along with prevention and education to stop the spread to HIV, we also have to continue to support those already infected (which, in turn, also helps to prevent future infections).

For Art’s Sake

That’s where Artists Against AIDS  comes in.  Artists Against AIDS is a fundraiser for the services provided by the Greater Community AIDS Project (GCAP). Doin’ It Well caught up with the coordinator of Artists Against AIDS, Tami Haubner. Here is what she had to say on behalf of the Artists Against AIDS planning committee:

Much has changed in the world since our last event, but the facts surrounding the epidemic of HIV/AIDS remain much the same and the numbers are growing. Education, awareness campaigns and medical research continue, but so does this virus. 

We, the committee for this event, along with the staff and board of the GCAP organization, continue our efforts with one goal in mind: to savor the day we no longer have to work for this cause.

As we network through our community seeking donations of food, time, entertainment and supplies to furnish the best show possible, we are reminded without fail of the local generosity and support shown to this organization and those who suffer from this disease. For this we are eternally grateful to our many volunteers, sponsors and vendors who make the show happen, year after year. Our undying appreciation also reaches far and wide to the many artists who always come through with the most diverse and desirable pieces enticing us all to dig a little deeper for this worthy cause.

And last, but never least, we thank you, our customers and friends, for your never ending support for our organization. Without you we wouldn’t exist. But then again, that is the ultimate goal.

So come out this weekend and check out Artists Against AIDS! Donations from the Artists Against AIDS event - including ticket sales for the private opening, sponsorships, and a portion of the art sales - are GCAP’s largest private funding source.  They account for about 1/3 of all the monies needed for direct assistance to the individuals GCAP serves who are HIV positive in our own community.

Doin’ It Well has a bunch of reader questions lined up to be answered. Keep sending them in, and check us out next week as we discuss taking back the night.

Sex 411: Artists Against AIDS Exhibition & Sale

Orpheum Children’s Art Museum 346 N. Neil St. Champaign

Public Grand Opening Friday April 24 6pm-10pm

Saturday, April 25^th 1pm-10pm

Sunday, April 26^th 1pm-7pm

Monday, April 27^th 1pm-7pm

Send Jo & Ross a question at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com